It's On!

Ok so here are a few lyrics for ye to ponder over and guess what songs they are from.

Song A (should be easy peasy to start)
"Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet"

Song B
I will be king And you You will be queen Though nothing will Drive them away

Song C (a little harder but everyone know's this song)
"When routine bites hard, And ambitions are low. And resentment rides high, But emotions won't grow"

I have one rule

NO GOOGLE!


I Mean it...


Hey you stop that! i see you on the internet.

Proceed.

(stop it!)

Fuck You Very Much, Ticketmaster

They're both strangely yet super attractive in their own way. They crack me up like no man's business. Let's face it, they're pretty downright fantastic. (Albi the Racist Dragon, anyone?)

They appear to have sold out two Dublin shows in the Olympia in less than three minutes. Thanks a bunch to Ticketmaster for the unnecessarily confusing and increasingly illegible security checks. Also a big shout out to the Master of Tickets for emailing me an ad for "Get Me In!", mere minutes after nine o'clock. Apparently it's their other company where "fans" (I use this word with unrestrained sarcasm and venom) can buy and most importantly sell tickets to major events. Seeing as the ticketmaster.ie site was proving to be useless in my quest for a humble two tickets, I chanced this other site, thinking "Well, it's Ticketmaster right? They'll hardly be allowed to screw you completely on the price, cos it's probably all monitored and whatnot, RIGHT?"

Wrong.

At seven minutes past nine, some amoral cunt has got twelve, count 'em, TWELVE tickets in two of the Circle rows. Have a look.

In sterling. For more than twice the price. And this "Get Me In!" pile of bullshit has the absolute fucking cheek to use this as a tagline.


Oh right, I get it. When you say true fans you mean evil, money grabbing, repulsive, greedy fuckbags who want to cash in on ACTUAL fans' desperation for tickets and screw us in the process.

Right, glad you cleared that up for me.


***

Edit: According to MCD.ie they sold out in twenty seconds. Twenty effing seconds like. I fail to see how anybody could have managed to get tickets apart from the presale. Still raging.

She Works Haaard For The Money

So I've only gone and got myself a job.

That's right, a JOB! Fancy that!

Despite the fact that an hour before the interview I managed to get trapped in a dress in a Penney's changing room in a panicked I-need-a-different-outfit-because-the-one-I-was-going-to-wear-is-actually-WAY-too-short situation. That'll teach me to live in torn jeans and dresses that turn out to have much too high a hemline. When I finally figured out that the zip had only gone down halfway I managed to free myself from my floaty floral prison, buy the damn thing and make myself look as presentable as I could manage. Armed with insider information that the organisation I was to be interviewed by loved the Obama campaign, off I went on my nervous way.

This is the flowery trap I got myself in.
We've since become friends and I quite like it now.
(I don't actually have a giant Hello Kitty head in real life. Not all the time anyway.)

I met the Bear for lunch right afterwards and tried to relay what they had asked me and what I had said.

I had no idea.

All I did know was that I rambled like fuck on some answers and praised the bejaysus out of the Obama campaign design, retrospectively hoping that I hadn't gone all Randy Marsh on their asses.

CHAAANGE!
(This is actually hilarious if you've seen the Obama episode of South Park. Really.)

Anyway I somehow managed to pull it off and am now jobsharing with another designer, leaving me with 2-3 days off a week during which I can watch a fuckload of Murder She Wrote, thanks to the witchcraft contained in the digital tv recording box we now have.

Series link?

Why yes. Yes in-motherfucking-deed.

Everything ok there Paul?

YEAAAAAAAAAA!!!!



This shot was taken directly after Paul's divorce papers were signed.

Home and Away (What really happened)

Redeemed (just)

About two weeks ago I reviewed the god awful Leap Year and I basically found myself hating (ie wanting to kill) the actors in it. However since then I found this little article. So Matthew Goode thought the same about the film, fair play your honesty is refreshing and good on ya for saying it was turd of a film! You have redeemed yourself somewhat, however you did still make the film so shame on you still.

A Bag Full of Cute

This is The Kid Song, by EleventyFour. It's about the weird things she used to think when she was small(er) and I think it's just lovely. So there. Have a cup of tea and watch it, it's like a little colourful hug.

Yiz Pricks

Myself and Kitty and a few others went to The No Pricks comedy gig last night in Slattery's. For those of you who don't know what this is the general gist is this; Jarlath Regan he of The Panel fame set up this show for comedians to try out new material before the Edinburgh shows. Apparently the 'no pricks' thing comes from the fact that the majority of comedy venue owners are pricks and the usual type of person who goes to a comedy show is a prick too! Although the people who go to these particular shows aren't... obviously. Although a few pricks did show up last night. sssake.

Last nights gig had Jarlath Regan as MC and some of the acts included Aidan Bishop, Michael Mee and Elenor Tiernan.

It was a good show lots of laughs although the prick who showed up kinda ruined it for the first two comedians. He wasn't so much as heckling more just talking really loudly and acting the prick, ironically. He got so prickish that the crowd turned on him and his buddies and told him to, and I quote "fuck off" "just go" "get out" and the inevitable "your a prick" eventually Jarlaith did have to point to the a4 page with the No Pricks 'logo'. He did eventually fuck off though I think more because they wouldn't serve him and his mates behind the bar rather than the finger pointing. As they were leaving everyone's eyes were on him and as the door closed on him and as his silhouette disappeared from our view we cheered our freedom. Wahey we cheered. The next act had it easy because the audience had relaxed and probably would of laughed at the death notices. He was funny though.

Comedians are so brave though standing up in front of an audience I could never do it you'd be morto like. Unfortunately the next gig is not till May, which is disappointing because they are really good shows. So clear your diary for all of May and join there facebook group for further updates. However if you think you are a Prick or you've ever been called a prick don't bother we will turn on you and probably ass rape you... ah i'm only messing sure that's illegal.

Oh You Guys

I want one. I want one NOW.

Typing "nom nom nom" into Google Images is quite an experience actually, as in amongst the inevitable Lolcats and baby bunnies, there will also appear a picture of some ladies doing things to other ladies. Unexpected.

Anyway, why the NOMs you ask? Well I'll tell you...

Someone actually nominated us for Best Pop Culture Blog and (for some reason) Best Political Blog for the Irish Blog Awards!

Really?

Yes, really! The list of all the nominees is anseo.

To be honest I pretty much forgot all about the Blog Awards this year, but muchas gracias and a big lick up the side of yer face to whoever nominated us, you're deadly.

As for the rest of you. The door's thataway.

I keed, I keed. I think the Best Political Blog nomination was actually entered by mistake, since the most political it gets here on Red Lemonade is the state of Sweet Valley High book covers or a scathing review of Leap Year. But hey, we'll take a nomination where we can get it! And well done to all the other nominees. I guess. (Again, joking!)

Thurty Tree and a Turd

So myself and herself headed of to a preview screening of the worst film ever made, EVER and that includes "Maid in Manhattan". (lucky escape J-lo lucky escape). The only thing that was good about the film was the free booze before hand the end credits. Yer man's accent is just woeful, I dunno what hole he was dragged from and I'm sure he's great in other films (the yellow dude in "Watchmen") but in this one he was Utter Shit. Which I believe is the technical term for that kind of acting. Matthew Goode shame on you and your crap accent. I thought shit oirish accents were a thing of the past but just when we thought it was safe to go back in the water some cunt comes along and fucks it up Darby O'Gill style.

His over pronunciation of any word that has an 'a' in it and i quote "cAAArrots, cAAAbage" really sticks the knife in and twists it and twists it.

He wasn't the only one in the film though, as you might of guessed from the god awful poster. That Amy Adams wan is in it too and is just soooo painful. I think she was only cast because she has red hair.

They try to convince us that the Gap of Dunlow is just outside Dingle which its self consists of one pub and a few houses dotted around according to this film. Glendalough apparently is in Tipperary now, funny I'm from Tipp and I never knew!

There really is so much wrong with this film that I'm getting a headache talking about it! So take it from me it's shit don't go!

I can see this film on some monday bank holiday on RTE. sssssake!

AND NO BODY SAYS 'BOB' FOR MONEY ANYMORE!!! OR TOP OF THE FUCKING MORNING NO ONE!!!!!!

Ya Wanna Be A Staaar, Don't Ya?

I got a link to this in an email from lovely Miss Dizzle today. It's a heap of rare photos of famous folk, many of them before they were famous and nearly all of them just having the craic. Anyway have a look, cos there's some proper gorgeous ones in there. Some of my favourites are:

Marlon Brando

Legs o'clock Jane Fonda

Audrey Hepburn and Anthony Perkins acting the maggot

Audrey again, looking very un-Hepburny but feckin gorgeous nonetheless

Sophia Loren in Disneyland

Elizabeth Taylor and Pocket Cat


Marilyn Monroe meeting Queen Elizabeth II

Anyway have a looksee yourself, and do keep an eye out for bodybuilding Sean Connery, Brigitte Bardot looking beautiful despite a bad dose of camel toe, Goldie Hawn with a PIRATE on her belly, supernerdy George Clooney, Carrie Fisher looking like a munchkin with the rest of the Star Wars crew, Alfred Hitchcock's eskimo children and a certain creepy baby.

Not to mention....

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!



You're welcome.

Grey Ladies

Every so often, I get slightly obsessed with certain things and will Google them to bits, reading up all I can on them before they settle back into the saner category of Things I Really Like. Burlesque, Alan Rickman, Harry Potter and the character of Psylocke from X Men, to name but a few. Anyway. The most recent of these Things I Can't Get Enough Of Right Now is Grey Gardens.


Last Halloween at the Rocky Horror Show in the Sugar Club, a girl dressed as a witch started telling me all about this amazing seventies documentary about a mad mother and daughter living alone in a manky old mansion in the Hamptons. I sort of forgot all about it until the documentary and film were on telly over Christmas and I just became fascinated by the whole thing. The story is really very sad, a socialite mother and daughter, Big Edie and Little Edie Beale, who spiralled from a super glamourous lifestyle to living together as broke, crazy cat ladies getting on each other's nerves in a huge squalid house with an attic taken over by raccoons.

Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange absolutely nailed their parts in the film version. Drew had Little Edie down perfectly, and in the flashback scenes where the film pieces together the gradual descent of the Beales, Drew has never looked better. I think every time it went to a flashback I audibly gasped because every single thing she wore in those scenes was pure gorgeousness. Behold!








It's like eating sweets for your eyes. Just lovely!