She's Gonna Shimmy Till Her Garters Break

Earlier this week I attended a screening of Burlesque in order to review it for Culch.ie. In a nutshell it's a delightfully silly and massively camp "a star is born" story, interspersed with laughable dialogue and massive musical numbers. It's the brilliant kind of terrible and the review resides here should you wish to peruse it. The costumes however, merited a post of their very own. As it is, I have something of a weakness for corsets, bustiers and the various other fishnetty twinkly trappings of burlesque style apparel, and ridiculous and all as the film is, I certainly couldn't fault them on the outfits. Eye candy a-go-go it was.

The costume, that is.

Christina and her chorus line sparkled like sexy Christmas trees throughout, bumping and grinding their way around the stage and in one case, and pulling some truly astounding shapes on their chairs. Behold:

I could totally do that. I just don't want to.

So when Christina isn't using her acting or wandering around with her uncontrollable dancer version of Tourettes, she's hamming it up onstage in some serious style. I couldn't decide which pictures to use for this post because I think they're all fucking gorgeous so here they all are. Glittery candy floss for your eyeballs.














It's a big mad cake of deadly. In its own special way.

Brains, Darling. Brains.

I do so love a bit of Halloween divilment, and this weekend is shaping up rather nicely on that count I have to say. Tomorrow night will find the Bear and I, among others, shouting obscenities and throwing toast around in The Sugar Club for another fun night of Rocky Horror mischief. Seeing as dressing up is both mandatory and fuckloads of fun, I've been putting some thought into this year's costume and have settled on 1920s zombie.


I'm hoping to channel a sort of undead Clara Bow vibe and have been looking for pictures of vintage hottie Madge Bellamy in White Zombie, the first ever zombie movie by all accounts, fact fans. Last night when I was going to bed after spending half an hour Googling zombies, the Bear decided to frighten the bejaysus out of me by hiding in the doorway of the bathroom with the light off, the big jerk.


Undeterred, I have plans to rip up a black dress from Penneys, pick holes in some fishnets and get some fake blood all up in my grill, as it were. When Sunday rolls around, we've got an adventure in the Dublin Mountains to look forward to, as the Bear managed to win two tickets on Facebook for an excursion to the Hellfire Club from Hidden Dublin Walks. Sure what else would you be doing of a Sunday, other than listening to stories about demonic statues, dwarf skeletons and black masses in a haunted ruin up a mountain?

I'll Get Me Coat

A few weeks ago I was invited along to an A|Wear press day, as I occasionally manage to pass myself off as a fashion blogger of sorts somehow. Whilst having a nosy around their forthcoming Autumn stock, a certain coat reminded me of something. Last year I blogged about (read: got obsessed with) a coat that the ridetabulous Zooey Deschanel wore in Yes Man, how it turned out to be from a vintage shop and as such, disappointingly could not be had. Even now, I still get hits from people desperately Googling "zooey deschanel yes man navy coat", and my favourite search term so far:

"i want mother effing zooey deschanel navy freaking peacoat!"

So frustrated and yet too polite to even swear properly. Aw.

So, to the A|Wear coat at hand. Namely this navy and red schoolgirl coat, which is out now, costs €70 and really, seeing as Zooey's coat was a magical one-off, it's not an altogether bad substitute, no?

Grey Ladies

Every so often, I get slightly obsessed with certain things and will Google them to bits, reading up all I can on them before they settle back into the saner category of Things I Really Like. Burlesque, Alan Rickman, Harry Potter and the character of Psylocke from X Men, to name but a few. Anyway. The most recent of these Things I Can't Get Enough Of Right Now is Grey Gardens.


Last Halloween at the Rocky Horror Show in the Sugar Club, a girl dressed as a witch started telling me all about this amazing seventies documentary about a mad mother and daughter living alone in a manky old mansion in the Hamptons. I sort of forgot all about it until the documentary and film were on telly over Christmas and I just became fascinated by the whole thing. The story is really very sad, a socialite mother and daughter, Big Edie and Little Edie Beale, who spiralled from a super glamourous lifestyle to living together as broke, crazy cat ladies getting on each other's nerves in a huge squalid house with an attic taken over by raccoons.

Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange absolutely nailed their parts in the film version. Drew had Little Edie down perfectly, and in the flashback scenes where the film pieces together the gradual descent of the Beales, Drew has never looked better. I think every time it went to a flashback I audibly gasped because every single thing she wore in those scenes was pure gorgeousness. Behold!








It's like eating sweets for your eyes. Just lovely!

It's a Jolly 'Oliday with Mary

Well that was quick. No more sleeping in and selection boxes, but back to work and the freezing cold office you say? Balls I say. Good old Christmas though, with movies aplenty and in my case, much coveting of costumes from said movies.

The first being Beetlejuice. As much as I love Winona Ryder's mopey goth get-up and Betelguese's monochrome stripey suit, they pale in comparison to the strangely sexy and mostly dead Miss Argentina afterlife receptionist. I was always sidetracked from the story by how she looked; why would a beauty queen be wearing a sixties sci-fi dress and cape and have bright red hair? Why is she such a luminous greeny blue colour? Is she an alien? In short, she looks AWESOME and might just become a ridiculously obscure Halloween costume for me at some point.


The second being Mary Poppins. While she certainly looks great with a little bow around her neck and her parrot head umbrella is rather amazing, what does it for me is the floaty, floofy white dress in the countryside scenes. Well, not so much the dress actually as the HOT red corset that goes with it. Miaow, Mary!


The third was from Sherlock Holmes. Well, the trailer actually, seeing as it mysteriously disappeared from the final cut of the movie. (Which itself is actually fantastic, and not least because of Robert Downey Ridebag.) On Googling this missing costume, it appears that I'm joined by myriad horny boys of the internet in being disappointed by its omission. Anyway, it was Rachel McAdams in a gorgeous Victorian corset and striped stockings. When I saw the trailer in the cinema I thought YES - I want to see a bit more of that please, Mr Guy Ritchie. But clearly Guy thought different. WHAT THE FUCK, GUY? So aside from rubbish screencaps, this was only half decent picture of it I could find, and the wagon isn't even standing up straight so you can't really see it properly at all. Sake.


Now, just where DID my last can of Tanora and that box of Maltesers go...

Secret Cinemas and Saucy Rhyming

Ah unemployment. It does have it's benefits you know, and not just the Job Seekers variety. It also means that I can attend cinema screenings at 3.30 in the day, which is precisely what I did yesterday (thanks to Monsieur Doyle). The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus was being shown in a little cinema I'd never heard of, down a lane I'd never seen and behind a door you wouldn't even notice. Very Secret Squirrel.

Anyway, I thought the film was great. It's weird and trippy and gorgeous and funny and dark and pretty much what you would expect from Terry Gilliam. Lily Cole stole the show for me as sexy, tinkling (statutory!) Valentina. Her face is bloody fascinating and she looked fantastic in everything she wore (and didn't wear) onscreen.


Tom Waits is super slick as the devil and the boys popping up to replace Heath works seamlessly into the story. I thought it was deadly but I know some people won't like it at all. Not least because I heard someone behind me at the end of the screening whisper "that was shit". But he probably kicks puppies for fun, so don't listen to him.


***

On a completely unrelated note, the Bear and I won Maxi Cane's October Filthy Butt Fun competition with our tag team approach and mad rhyming skillz. We're now the proud winners of a €50 voucher to spend as we see fit anseo. Oh the possibilites!

Alabama Slammer

I watched True Romance for the first time last night, on VHS video no less, straight outta 1995 or thereabouts. (You see the Bear loves videos, and has a recently alphabetized collection all lined up on the shelves in his house. It's a lovely nineties nostalgia buzz when you see them, like being in an old school video shop.) Anyway, Patricia Arquette's character Alabama looks absolutely deadly throughout the film with her brash animal prints, big plastic earrings and neon underwear. The character was so endearing with her mad clothes, wonky teeth and cute laugh that I decided to stick some photos of her on the blogaroo. I NEED that turquoise belt in the first photo. She also instilled a serious case of sunglasses envy in me, not to mention a sudden desire for my very own purple Cadillac. Apparently Patricia got to keep the car after the film wrapped. Jammy bint.

Yes Please

When the Bear and I were in Paris, we dodged the rain for two hours on the last day by going to see Yes Man, with Jim Carrey and Zooey Deschanel. As in they were starring in it, not there with us because let's face it, if they were I'd have spent the entire time pestering Jim for Ace Ventura lines and I'd have to be peeled off Zooey because...well...it's Zooey Deschanel, silly! Anyway, about halfway through the film, we skip along to a scene in an airport where the camera reveals the fantastic Miss D in The Most Amazing Coat Ever. I actually gasped when I saw it, and now, as a little sweetie for your eyes, here it is.... (cue heavenly music..)



And it would appear that every girl who has seen it has also been Googling the bejaysus out of Zooey Deschanel + Yes Man + navy coat, in an attempt to find their very own version. Message boards are swamped with boys trying to find it for their girlfriends along with people suggesting coats that are kinda similar but just not the same dammit! Anyway it turns out that it was one of those magical finds in some LA vintage shop, which probably disappeared in a puff of glittery smoke as soon as the door swung shut. Oh well. Maybe if I track Zooey down I can appeal to her quirky hippy side and convince her that it's just a material thing maaan, and you don't really NEED material possessions to make you happy...and then run off giggling like a lunatic in my beeeeautiful new coat. Probably not though.