Monday, September 23, 2013

Apparently I Need a Hero

So, in case it hasn't been totally clear before now, I kinda fucking love theme parks. The thing is, I usually end up being so busy trying to get on every rollercoaster as often as possible and generally being overexcited and breaking into a run without quite meaning to, that I invariably don't get around to having a proper look in the park shops until it's half an hour before everything closes.

The day we went to Islands of Adventure while in Florida was no different (apart from the almost passing out from the heat and being wheeled to the backstage medical area bit) and this time there were Harry Potter and superhero shops to be frantic in.

While scuttling around the Marvel shop, intent on getting myself a t-shirt, I realised that getting one with, say, the Captain America shield logo or Thor or Storm on it was looking less and less likely. Because the only lady sized t-shirts were these ones:

The fuck, guys? I mean, yes, Wolverine is a big massive ride and all and The Avengers was basically Arm Fest 2012, but surely it wouldn't kill you to throw in a few options that AREN'T about boning superheroes and basically the cotton equivalent of twirling your fucking hair and giggling like a twat.

Oh wait, they did.

LADIES NIGHT? Are you serious? Invisible Woman, Hellcat, Storm and Spiderwoman are already pretty fucking cool and don't actually need a lame caption that makes them sound like a drunk hen party. The worst part is, I was actually half tempted to get it, as it was the only ladies top in the whole place that wouldn't make the wearer sound like a simpering groupie.

It was doubly annoying because the men's t-shirts were really cool but in my case a man's t-shirt + a big rack is not particularly conducive to not looking like a sack of potatoes. Now, I know there's plenty of decent superhero themed ladies tops online and in other places, but I don't think it was unreasonable of me to expect that I'd be able to get something with Jean Grey or literally any other female hero on it, when the outside of the shop looks like this:

Come on! There's a giant, fuck-off, kickass Rogue cutout on the stupid place and they can't even stick her on a t-shirt? BOO. What's worse, when I was looking for pictures for this post of the tops I saw that evening, I ended up on Marvel's official online merchandise shop, to find that they have all of FOUR different t-shirts for women and uh oh, what's that, little girls who like superheros? Oh, I'm sorry, according to YOU DON'T EXIST.

Whatever. I got a Gryffindor top and gloves instead.


  1. I love that Superhero's are coming back as sexy. It means I can work my love of spandex into the bedroom in a seemingly less kinky kind of way.

  2. This and then this again. Even what you were saying about online shops, I find it difficult to find stuff I like (or at least stuff for a decent price). I prefer bright or pastel colours to dark and I don't wear trousers so any print on a shirt has to be up enough that a high waisted skirt won't cut it in two. Although for some people that genuinely is just their style, i don't like this idea that to be a 'real' nerd you have to give up anything overly feminine. If there was a site like qwertee but for dresses, I would be so happy...

  3. Agh, I hate this. Men's t-shirts are so much nicer but so much more....'make breasts look like shelving unit'. Sickening that there's no little girl section on that website either. Also, those "ladies" tshirts... fuck sake, would a gay man even wear them?

    1. "make breasts look like shelving unit'"

      Haha, exactly! So annoying.

  4. This has always bugged me - it's like the fact that you might like superheros for something other than their bodies as a girl is just unheard of! I would love a t-shirt with Rogue on it actually - she was always my favourite. I think you should send this blog off to Marvel to let them see that they're probably missing a giant market. Which is annoying considering the female superhero's are generally quite cool & something that little girls could aspire to (being kick-ass, witty retorts, looking out for themselves & not waiting to be "saved")

  5. The majority of my superhero t-shirts (I have a few, and they are the ones that survived the t-shirt purge of '13) are the x-small mens ones from Primark. The crap quality means that they tend to fit fairly well. That selection in the Marvel shop sucks and why the hell can't wee girls be wee super girls?


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