Thursday, October 04, 2012

From Hell

Towards the end of next week the Bear and I, along with Billy and The Incredible Mulq, are skipping off to Paris for a few days and I am SO GODDAMN EXCITED. It's been three years since my last trip there and I'm having serious Disneyland withdrawals. Anyway, quite by coincidence, I came across this totally fucking bonkers and amazing Parisian restaurant online a few days ago. The downside? It closed somewhere around 1950. Boo.

Café de l'Enfer was a Hell-themed restaurant and opened in the late nineteenth century in Pigalle. It was possibly one of the first ever themed restaurants and doesn't it look like it was about a bajillion times more fun than Planet Hollywood or the Hard Rock Cafe?

Just look at this fucking awesome door! It might just be one of the best things I've ever seen. Raaawwr! THANK YOU INTERNET.

The interior was described by National Geographic as having "plaster lost souls writhing on its walls", the doorman wore a Satan suit and greeted customers by saying "Enter and be damned!" and the waiters were dressed as devils. Also:

An order for three black coffees spiked with cognac was shrieked back to the kitchen as: "Three seething bumpers of molten sins, with a dash of brimstone intensifier!"

Ok, to be honest, all the screaming and the lost souls eyeballing you while you eat your dinner might have made for a somewhat stressful dining experience, but Jaysus it would have been tremendous craic too.

Some smart arse went on to open a cafe next door called Heaven. It looks lovely and all, but I know which one I'd rather go to. I'll see your starry celestial entrance and raise you a FUCKING GIANT DEMON MOUTH.

Apparently a Monoprix supermarket stands on the site these days. It's a goddamn crime that a building facade as awesome as that was ever torn down. Fuck you, Paris.*

*Not really, I love you Paris, please don't rain all over us when we are in you.

Images yoinked from Retronaut.


  1. Holy shit, it's fantastic! I wonder what they did with all the stuff when they got rid of it? I like to think that a supermarket boss has a giant tooth in the corner of his living room.

    Look at that second picture! You'd know they were french. They're all like 'Yeah, we're French, we're in a hell cafe, we're not scared. We're FRENCH, MOFOS.'. Except for the lad with the bottle in front of him. He is possibly not French.

    Have a great holiday!

  2. Ah Paris! That place looks fantastic, pity it is no longer with us. I would however, recommend eating in Simone & Nicola ( Was brought there by a chef friend last year. One of the best meals of my life, and much better than the Gordon Ramsay at Versailles restaurant the following night.

  3. MissGreenEyes - He *does* look a bit uneasy doesn't he!

    Eileen - Thanks for the recommendation! :)

  4. Interesting that first (or one of the first) themed places was decorated in hell's atributes... but it looks more professionally designed than many of today's places


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