Thursday, July 07, 2011

This Ain't No Picnic

Earlier this week, a free ticket to Oxegen was most kindly bestowed upon me. Having never been to this particular festival, and having been spoiled by year after terrific year of solid gold fun at Electric Picnic, I find myself both scared and excited about the weekend ahead. I made the mistake of reading this article a few days ago, which served to frighten the bejaysus out of me and envision a three day stint spent as a paranoid wreck, but nevertheless to Punchestown I go.

The weather forecast is awful and I'm well aware that the surrounds will be nothing like the fairy-lit forest or rolling green hills of Stradbally. The only rolling green things I expect to encounter are discarded cans of Tuborg. Then again, with a hipflask of rum stuffed into each cherry-print welly boot, I'll make it my mission to ascertain the perfect level of fucked up and enjoy myself enough to be undeterred and unfazed by the myriad shitfaced teenagers. Also the prospect of Fight Like Apes, Bitches With Wolves, Fun Lovin' Criminals and Foo Fighters will surely make up for any amount of mud. Right?

If all else fails I can just throw things at Amanda Brunker.


  1. I'm terrified! Only going on Sunday as tickets are so pricy, tried my best to get a freebie!
    am a big electric picnic head, what if they're mean to us!? I plan on wearing full on fishing gear, no mud for me!

  2. You're dead right Ena, I've got a raincoat and waterproof pants to pull on over whatever I'm wearing. Festival fashion is all well and good but dry and warm wins every time!

  3. Don't go to the Black-Eyed Peas and don't try to get to the front at any act, you should have a minimum of fuss inside. Outside, the campsite is a little more unpredictable. Camp a good distance away from main people traffic routes, toilets and stalls and you should be ok. Don't travel alone, as you wouldn't travel alone in a big city at night.

    It's unacceptable that the festival has deteriorated to the turd that it is from what was such a brilliant even in 2004. The security are corrupt and unsympathetic scumbags. The organisers are negligent and borderline conspiratorial (with their closing of the Oxegen message board after allegations of a rape at the festival were spreading). I wouldn't ever pay for the experience again, because it'll never change as long as profits are maximised.

  4. Ronan casey's experience tallies with my own, unfortunately. My last time camping there ended with me leaving in the middle of the night because some fuckers tried to set fire to my tent while I was in it. the general atmosphere of violence and fear was there all weekend. I remember realising that the event had changed clientele in a huge way while queueing to get in and hearing the lad in front of me going "C'mere lads, wha' toyim are Outkast on?" Outkast weren't playing that year, this chap was just there to get mouldy and assumed that every band he'd ever liked would be there to entertain him.
    You see comments and messageboards straight after the festival every year full of horror stories, and then a few people going "Well, I don't know what all the fuss is about, I had a brilliant time." Statistically, you mostly like WILL have a brilliant time, but there are more and more dirtbags there every year, so just mind yourself and don't be on your own if you're in a state.

    Yours Sincerely,
    The Oldest Fucking 29 year-old to Ever Live.

  5. Oh god, after these comments I'm terrified FOR you, post quickly about your experiences if only to tell us all that you're still alive.

  6. Don't worry, I made it out alive! Will post soon, once I sort through the four million blurry photos of Dave Grohl's face on the big screen.

  7. hope you had fun!muddy muddy fun x

  8. Well...? We all want to know how you got on? Last time I was there it was shocking!!


Hey hot stuff! If you leave a comment I'll give you a present.