Saturday, January 30, 2010

Judge Judy and Executioner

Well, as TCup has already mentioned, she, Mazatron and I are having something of a difficult time getting our deposit back from our former landlord, who shall henceforth be known as Cuntbag McGinty. We have a list of emails going from last June to now where the general gist is us getting onto the letting agent (AKA The Most Pointless Man in the World and henchman for Cuntbag) about all the things that needed fixing and sorting in the house, him saying "Have those things been fixed yet?" or "Hope everything is sorted now???" (with that many question marks in his actual email, I might add. Not only is that irritating and reminiscent of a fourteen year old girl's diary entry, it's just downright unprofessional), us replying "No. They haven't actually." over and over up to the point where the house got broken into and we decided we'd had enough and were getting the fuck out.

Cuntbag McGinty seems to think he's within his rights to keep our deposit because we're leaving early, even though we've pointed out that the reason we're leaving is down to his complete neglect of his duties as a landlord. Anyway. We're taking the fucker to the PRT motherflippin B adjudication service to get our money back, and it looks as though he's not registered with them, which I'm hoping to Jessica Fletcher he's not, as it'd mean a €3000 fine for him or even a few months in jail which would be just fantastic.

I've got my fingers crossed for Judge Judith Sheindlin. How effing great would that be?


Yeah. That'd show him alright.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Would You?


We're currently having problems with our current landlord, he's being a douche about deposits etc. So I was thinking, is there a "rate my landlord" website. I found the above which is "under construction". If it's still under construction next week I think I'll start my own!

The fuckers ie the Landlords could take an age deciding on whether or not to give you the house and when you finally get it they're the ones who turn out to be cunts!

The landlord we have now takes his time in getting back to us about anything that needed doing we have reams of emails with lists of things that needed to be done. Now he's being a cunt about meeting us to give us back our deposit. He was always at a funeral or his mother was in hospital or ailens had landed in his garden and he needed to get this sorted first. Prick.

Anyway are these sorts of websites lousy or would you use it?

I Like This




more

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What The...?


Again..

What the..?

We're Breaking Up...


Ah I'm only messing sure who else would have us but alas it is the end of an era here at Red Lemonade Towers. Herself is moving in with her boyfriend and I am moving in with my buddies to pastures new. Sure twas bound to happen eventually although I always thought it would be me who would be moving in with the boyfriend first but situations being what they are herself gets that 'first'. Anyhu we have been living together since 2002 with a year off in the middle for good behaviour. That's seven years people some relationships don't last that long (some not mine). We literally know pretty much everything about each other at this stage. And last night as I was packing up my stuff I realised that as well as I know them, I don't know Mazatron and the Hulk well enough to just wander into their room and 'borrow' some clothes or some eyeliner or use their hairdryer without them being there or without asking as was the case more often than not with K to the 'itty'. If Kitty couldn't find something in her room she would go into mine and find it there.

We are alike in so many ways and nuances that would sometimes maybe weird people out. For example our, weird crushes' were very similar, as was our love of the same TV shows (don't think we ever argued about what was on the telly) I will prob have to watch Dr. Who in her gaff as I don't think the other two will be down with that. We tended to 'get into' the same things around the same time also which was very hand. Harry Potter for example, we have a bit of an obsession with the wizard, (I had to hold back a tear last night when packing my books, as I tore some of the sleeve on 'half blood prince'. i'm ok really im ok... snnniiifff).

But not only are we moving to different homes but she's moving all the way over to the north soide! So if anyone sees a kitty hanging around with a bear over there don't fret they are not dangerous. They have been tamed and are toilet trained also.

So anyway that chapter in our lives is over now and a new chapter opens, for her mostly, as she has to not only live with a boy, but she has to share a room with one now too (ah ewww!). Anyway the next few posts from us during the coming weeks will be interesting i'm sure.

Good luck and thanks, k!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I Have..

...a wedding coming up on the 13th of Feb. Have a few gunas but I've worn them to death as it is. So naturally enough I want a new one! Looking on Asos there and I saw this beaut. Lads, the minute I saw it, I had it all worked out, what shoes, what coat, what accessories, what hair and what make up to wear with it.


I bought those shoes i wanted as well on Monday (down from €125 to €22, jackpot!!) and i'm thinking a boyfriend blazer.

I must have it or at least some penny's lookalike effort!

Bono and My Ex

This was twittered by dave coffey today he of 'Dan and Becs' and the even better 'Steve and Sarah' fame.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I Can Haz Job?


Well, they've put the cat out at work. On the plus side, I don't have to suppress the urge to punch my now former boss each day and I'll have loads of time to pack up for the Big Move In with the Bear. (Which really translates to having loads more time to procrastinate seeing as I hate packing.)

Jessica, I'm back!

Friday, January 15, 2010

On the road again

Just a wee update I'm currently lying on a leaba sweating my tits off in a hotel in the Bangkok. Going home in two days as bán as I was coming over but sure you'll have that. Had a frigging blast best holiday ever everyone should go to Thailand it rocks. Although it was kinda scary when we were waiting for our train a load of army dudes arrived on and just stared my self and Hulk out of it. I guess we all look the same to them!

Hot Stuff, Coming Through

Lately, I have been mostly obsessed with this ad for Virgin Holidays. I love it. It's twenty one seconds of perfection as far as I'm concerned. I could watch it over and over, only I'm in work and have to have the sound turned off, seeing as "The Stripper" is the kind of tune that draws attention and all.



I'd love to have the balls to do something like that in real life. I'm such a sucker for anything vaguely burlesque related or retro-sexy. I wrote my third year dissertation in college on the origins of the pin up girl for feck's sake. I go weak at the knees looking at pictures like this. Yesterday I discovered that Christina Aguilera is filming a movie with Cher called Burlesque that will be out later this year. The plot reeks of Coyote Ugly, with a "neo-burlesque club" replacing the bar staffed with dancing dollybirds. It sounds like it'll most likely be sparkly, glittery rubbish but I know I'm going to want to see it anyway. Even though it'll have Cher's scary face in it for Jaysus sake. And that's surely saying something.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Anticipation She Wrote


So. A few viewings later, we find ourselves with all our Creme Eggs in the one basket, with fingers, toes and tits crossed and hoping to hear today whether we'll be the Chosen Ones for the shiniest, loveliest, cleverest apartment (duplex, no less!) that I've ever seen or could potentially live in.

By happy coincidence, one of the owners turns out to be the sister of one of the Bear's best friends from college, and over the last while I've gotten to be friendly with their other sister, through a shared love of Lolcats and the Discworld series. As such, some shameless campaigning by the Bear and I ensued, canvassing our quite handy contacts to tell our hopefully future landlords what fantastic human beings we just so happen to be.

The Bear (quite rightly...I s'pose) won't let me get too excited about it in case it doesn't work out, but I'm finding it impossible not to think about where I could put my three foot high Betty Boop statue to show her off to maximum effect, and where his video collection would look extra deadly. Hopefully I'm not jinxing the bejaysus out of everything by blogging about it, but I'm very excited you see. It's smack bang in the centre of the city and so close to where I work that I could go home at lunch, have cheese on toast or whatever I damn well feel like and maybe, just maybe.....WATCH MURDER SHE WROTE.

Jessicaaaaaa!

UPDATE: It worked! They picked us! Hooray to the max!

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Moving On Up, Just Like M People Did

Thanks to drunken goadings as to why the Bear and I don't live together, courtesy of his South African friend one extremely drunken night in Limerick last October, it transpired that the Bear actually did want to live with me and as such, he discovered that I had wanted to live with him for the past year. This, coupled with the fact that I'm currently living in the ONLY somewhat scary area in Rathmines and getting the hell out of Dodge, means that we actually ARE going to live together! Like grown ups! Amazing!

And so begins the arduous task of house hunting.

"Suitable for professional couple."

Professional couple? For some reason that phrase puts me in mind of fuckers like these:


Or maybe a couple that are both hookers and are hired as a package so their profession actually involves being a couple. Either way, it definitely doesn't make me think of me and the Bear. I shared this thought with him at the weekend, and he proceeded to take the piss out of me for flapping my arms around while wearing his big green hoodie as I was talking. Somehow this conversation culminated with me doing an impression of a frustrated T Rex who just realised his arms are so short that he can't have a wank.

Professional couple indeed.

Monday, January 04, 2010

It's a Jolly 'Oliday with Mary

Well that was quick. No more sleeping in and selection boxes, but back to work and the freezing cold office you say? Balls I say. Good old Christmas though, with movies aplenty and in my case, much coveting of costumes from said movies.

The first being Beetlejuice. As much as I love Winona Ryder's mopey goth get-up and Betelguese's monochrome stripey suit, they pale in comparison to the strangely sexy and mostly dead Miss Argentina afterlife receptionist. I was always sidetracked from the story by how she looked; why would a beauty queen be wearing a sixties sci-fi dress and cape and have bright red hair? Why is she such a luminous greeny blue colour? Is she an alien? In short, she looks AWESOME and might just become a ridiculously obscure Halloween costume for me at some point.


The second being Mary Poppins. While she certainly looks great with a little bow around her neck and her parrot head umbrella is rather amazing, what does it for me is the floaty, floofy white dress in the countryside scenes. Well, not so much the dress actually as the HOT red corset that goes with it. Miaow, Mary!


The third was from Sherlock Holmes. Well, the trailer actually, seeing as it mysteriously disappeared from the final cut of the movie. (Which itself is actually fantastic, and not least because of Robert Downey Ridebag.) On Googling this missing costume, it appears that I'm joined by myriad horny boys of the internet in being disappointed by its omission. Anyway, it was Rachel McAdams in a gorgeous Victorian corset and striped stockings. When I saw the trailer in the cinema I thought YES - I want to see a bit more of that please, Mr Guy Ritchie. But clearly Guy thought different. WHAT THE FUCK, GUY? So aside from rubbish screencaps, this was only half decent picture of it I could find, and the wagon isn't even standing up straight so you can't really see it properly at all. Sake.


Now, just where DID my last can of Tanora and that box of Maltesers go...
 
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