Imagine if He-Man, Rambo, The Transporter, John McClane, The Terminator, Machete, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN and oh, I don't know...Jet Li were all in a film together, running around blowing shit up.
Well imagine no more! The Expendables is a ridiculous, overblown, forget-storyline-let's-just-take-out-some-bad-guys film coming out in August and it looks AMAZING. The trailer doesn't really tell you anything but that matters not! What DOES matter is that Arnie, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis are in a crazy ass movie together with every other action hero from the last oh, twenty years. Apart from Jean Claude Van Damme (who was offered a role but he turned it down claiming that there was no substance in the character. Substance? I forgot that JCVD was one of the most respected actors of our time), Wesley Snipes (couldn't do it since he's busy being in jail for tax evasion or somesuch) and Steven Seagal (didn't get on with one of the producers). All they need is MacGyver, but some people might say he's not actually a real person. I hate those people.
They've got hilarious names like Lee Christmas, Dan Paine, Toll Road, Hale Caesar and Tool. Brilliant. They're like man versions of Bond Girl names. It's a shame that Wesley Snipes couldn't do it though. I'd love to see if the script for this could ever top his classic line from Passenger 57.
"Always bet on black."