Monday, October 12, 2009

Darkness Falls Across The Land

Last Thursday, the Bear and I got in the mood for playing our part in the South William Street Death Mob by going to see Zombieland. When I did a search for it in Google Images just now, I'd gotten as far as typing "zombie" when the helpful suggesty list popped up, top of which was...

Zombie Jesus eh? Sure you'd have to have a look wouldn't you? It turns out that some corners of the Internet have renamed Easter "Zombie Jesus Day", what with the whole rising from the dead, eat my flesh, drink my blood dealy. Which is pretty flipping funny as far as I'm concerned.

NOM NOM NOM

You may have also noticed that number five on the list was "zombie stripers". I can only assume that the people feverishly conducting searches for pictures of sexy, undead pole dancers with a taste for brains are terrible at spelling. However, it does bring me back to what the point of this post was supposed to be and that is how FUCKING AWESOME Zombieland is. (Even the Times Culture Magazine liked it, and they usually hate everything.) You see, the opening credits happen to feature a zombie stripper chasing a patron out of the club, zombie tits and nipple tassles bouncing in slow motion as part of the hilarious and scary title sequence. It's Shaun of the Dead but all flashy-like, in America, with Woody Harrelson as a pure rockstar at killing zombies (maybe he is in real life too. I kind of hope so). He's a superhero when he gets going, like Wolverine or Liam Neeson in Taken. Badass and brilliant. And it's also got some really helpful rules of survival for when the zombie apocalypse does strike.


I'm completely and utterly TERRIFIED of zombies. Especially when they run fast, the bastards, which in this film they do. And yet I find myself watching zombie movies regardless of this fact. Thriller near traumatised me as a child, but I used to watch a documentary video about the making of it all the time with my brother when I was little. I'm really properly scared of them but end up watching things with them in it nonetheless. Oh and I got really excited when I saw this book in the window of Chapters. But back to Zombieland! If I could just stay on the point. It frightened the bejesus out of me, to the extent that I had to hand the popcorn over to the Bear or it was going to end up on the floor since I was jumping and flinching so much. There were bits of it I had to watch through my fringe, especially when my fear of zombies and being chased by fast zombies was there on screen in front of me. Like this:

AAAHHHHHHHH!


Even looking at this picture is making me all nervous and uneasy. But go see Zombieland, its hilarious and scary and clever and really very very gory. But they're zombies so it's ok and quite funny when they get flattened by pianos and lamped by fairground rides. Cos they're not real, right?

RIGHT?

4 comments :

  1. Zombieland = Awsomemuthfuckinland

    "The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams" Oprah Winfrey

    Well my dreams were filled with screaming zombie Usain Bolts running full sprint into Oprah and ripping her to pieces while her bemused audience whooped and hollered only to be consumed by a similar fate...

    Good old Zombieland and IT Crowd and cheese before bed...

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  2. Yay! It was a good evening wasn't it. Not to mention the demented Leprechaun.

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  3. The only bad thing about the witty comparison of Jesus etc. to a flesh-eating zombie is that I didn't think of it first. Sigh.

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  4. Terence - I know! To think it's been there in front of us all this time and we never put two and two together.

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